The Day The ATM Stopped Working

The weather in Ireland this week has beenunfortunate taxpayer, instead of getting more for
nothing short of atrocious. Hurricane strengththeir money actually got less, and by the end of
winds and rain swept the country with2007, an incredible 20% of the Irish workforce
devastating consequences for homes andwas employed by the public sector.
businesses, particularly in the southwest. TownsLast Thursday, the unions representing all those
like Fermoy, Mallow and Clonmel experiencedworkers were salivating at the prospect of
massive flooding in the centre of their towns andanother generous payout that would keep them
emergency services were called in to assist within the lifestyle to which they had become
the rescue of people and possessions. These lowaccustomed. They were in for a shock! The
lying-areas have of course seen it all before andCommission awarded zero increases across the
suffer again because remedial measures haveboard, with some notable exceptions made in
never been put in place.senior management scales. Oh, but it was great
Further east the damage was much less, as thefun to hear the howling and screeching from the
west and south had broken the back of thevarious trade unions when their hopes of another
storms as they traveled across the country.big payday were dashed. One by one, their
Nonetheless, it was a far from pleasant week forspokesmen were trotted out with the same
anybody living in Ireland. It was certainly not aincreasingly weary line of how disappointed they
week to be on an Ireland vacation, althoughwere, that they were considering their position,
Ireland travel sources say there are manythat there would be anger in the ranks, implying a
tourists in the country at this time of year,thinly-veiled threat of industrial action, and how
amazingly.they wanted urgent meetings with Government
Despite the storms we were smiling, cometo reverse the decisions of the Benchmarking
Thursday last. We state this fact whilst having theCommission.
greatest of sympathy with those unfortunateWe did not hear much complaint in 2002 when
people who suffered the effects of the storms.their response to criticism of the shameful
The reason for our display of mirth was theincreases they got was to say that the
publication of the Benchmarking Review of PayCommission was an independent body and they
for public service workers. Regular readers will behad to accept their recommendations although, of
familiar with our contempt of the workingcourse, welcoming the increases it had given
practices and pay scales of public servicethem. Now they cry, as would the child deprived
employees, not to mention the fact that thereof the regular Friday sweet treat because Dad
are about three times as many employed in thiswas late home from work (delayed on M50, no
sector as there should be.doubt, because of some crazy public service
The last review in 2002, called the Benchmarkingdecisions). Listen guys, we at will give it to you
Process, awarded scandalous pay and pensionstraight. We agree with you that the Commission
increases across the whole range of workers,was wrong not to give any increases in your pay.
managers and pay scales leading to the nowWhat it should have done was take away the
infamous comments by Senator Joe O'Toole, thenaward it gave to you lot in 2002! In the real world
president of the Irish Congress of Trade Unions,if you enter into a contract and you fail to honour
that benchmarking was like taking money fromit, you are penalized appropriately. You did not
ATM's. His own union, the INTO, representingbecome more productive - you became less so.
national school teachers, had benefitedYou were lucky to keep what you got
enormously from the process which compareddishonestly. If anybody has a right to be angry,
and measured pay across the whole range of thethe taxpayers who fund your largesse have first
public services against those in the private sector,call.If you are going to consider your position, let
and benchmarked one against the other, resultingus advise you to do so taking into account the
in a cost to the taxpayer of well over a billionfollowing scenario:
euro! Soothing sounds made at the time by theIn two years time, your houses will be worth half
unions said this all linked to increased productivityof what you paid for them. Unemployment will be
and output. This laughable comment was from theat 20%. The budget deficit will be so large that
very people whose only output was difficult tothe IMF will run the country and the price of oil will
measure, as it was generally delivered into a toiletmean heating your home will consume all your
bowl! O'Toole could not contain himself, boastingincome leaving you to beg for food in the streets
to his own annual conference about the great dealof Latvia and Romania. Trocaire boxes will be filled
he had engineered, and stupidly alienating the publicat Lent by the people of Africa for the poor and
support that was always there for teachers,hungry in Ireland and the only bench marking that
nurses, care workers etc. by his ATM comments.will concern you is the excrement marks that
In the intervening years since 2002, assomebody left on the park bench you have to
everybody wit a peanut-sized brain predicted,sleep on tonight! What about the ATM machines,
productivity in the public sector actually declinedwe might ask? The only reason you will have to
leading to the installation of more toilets to caterbe near one is to mug the person withdrawing
for the waste output.the cash. Moreover, you had better hurry
Since 2002 the public service workforce increasedbecause Senator Joe O Toole will be there before
by 84% to do the same job as they were doingyou.
before the benchmarking increases. TheThink about it and shiver at reality!