The Smaller Picture - A Life Lesson

Having eaten in the Sweethollow Diner in Melville,source, to escape the boundary of restraining,
Long Island, for the past decade, I had quicklycamouflaging emotions which had served to
become a "regular customer," and had becomeperpetuate the delusion.
acquainted with several old-time waitresses whoWhen I had returned to a state of stability after
had automatically ordered "the usual" for meseveral weeks of thought, introspection, and
without my even having asked for it.sometimes-painful emotionalization, I had realized
Micky McNolty, one of them, had been a widowthat this decade of my life and the brief
from Arizona who had been very active with herinteractions I had had with this waitress had
grandchildren, but had expressed a desire to takeserved to teach me several lessons.
an Alaskan cruise, and I had often shared detailsAlthough we are "eternal" as souls and therefore
concerning the experience with her. She haddo not understand or relate to finite concepts, I
discussed the possibility of taking the trip with herhad first concluded, we often forget that, in the
brother, but after several years, he hadend, there is nothing permanent or constant about
repeatedly turned her down, and she hadthe physical world, despite the fact that we
ultimately convinced her sister to travel with herdelude ourselves into believing otherwise. My
instead. After twice making reservations (withemotional shock had been the equivalent of that
appropriate trip insurance), she had been forceddelusion's shattering.
to cancel both of them due to her sister's illness.My self-coined "someday syndrome"
Although the trip had not been feasible in 2007philosophy-that is, continually putting off those
because her sister had used all of her vacationthings you wish to do until tomorrow, next week,
days, 2008 had remained a promising alternative.next month, or even next year-leads to an
Micky had demonstrated considerable interest inunfulfilled, unaccomplished dead end. Tomorrow is
and enthusiasm for travel to Arctic Canada,promised to no one. Time is a gift and the
particularly after I had discussed my own tripsmoment you fail to use it, you have lost it
there with her, and I had even presented herforever and can never regain it. It cannot be
with a brochure which had spurred her into loggingsaved in a bank account and later withdrawn with
on to the destination's web site in order tointerest.
request information.Relying on others to realize your goals often leads
Having been Irish, she had most wanted to visitto your own failure to do so. Micky had traveled
Ireland, however, and had managed to completeto Ireland because she had gone alone, but had
a ten-day, all-escorted motor coach trip therenot taken any of her other trips because she had
alone in early-2005, which, upon return, she hadrelied on others to do so. They can never be
assessed as having been "great!"taken now.
During the early part of 2007, however, she hadTake opportunities when they present
appeared ill, with labored breathing, and I had failedthemselves: they may never present themselves
to see her during my many diner visits. Uponagain, and only you will be the loser!
inquiry, I had been told that she had been inI would like to think that, although Micky had failed
hospital with a lung infection and had beento realize most of her travel goals, that having
diagnosed with emphysema, but had been latershared my own travel-related experiences with
released and had now required periodic use ofher had, in some small way, incentivized her into
portable oxygen. Because the malady had noat least taking her Ireland trip. She, on the other
longer rendered waitressing feasible, she hadhand, had served me so many times, although on
begun a midnight hotel reservation position inthe professional level, and had engaged in an equal
August which, out of the public eye, had enablednumber of mostly travel-related conversations in
her to access her oxygen supply when she hada mutual interchange which had enabled each of
needed it. She had been grateful to "be back," Ius to contribute to the other, again in some small
had been told.way, in a view which could be considered the
On September 4, the day after Labor Day, I had"smaller picture" of life.
once again eaten in the Sweethollow Diner, hadAll of these "smaller pictures," when pieced
once again ordered my "usual," had once againtogether, equal the "larger picture"...life itself.
been served by another waitress whom I hadNever underestimate the value of "small things."
also known for a decade, and had once againNever cut an even infinitesimal slice from the pie
inquired, "How's Micky?" But there had been oneand believe you still have the whole.
element which had been removed from this list ofEvery soul on this planet makes these small
constants. "Micky passed away on August 30," Icontributions everyday which, when added
had been informed.together, equals the whole.
My initial shock, reducing my emotions to those ofThe "whole" on earth emanates from, and
numbness, had attempted to transcend thetherefore reflects, the "whole" above.
border between time and eternity, betweenThere will forever be a void in the Sweethollow
delusion of earth's permanence and reality'sDiner and I will miss the exchanges with which we
non-physical infinity, between body and soul. Thathad mutually contributed to each other on the
shock, upon retrospect, had been the attempt of"smaller picture" level, but Micky, thanks for the
my soul to cross that line and reconnect with itslife lesson...and I will miss you.