| > | | | | aspects emerge." |
| The following article is offered for free use in | | | | "Me? A victim?" I was a triffle miffed. I did not |
| your ezine,print publication or on your web site, so | | | | see myself as a victim. "Of course," said my |
| long as the author resource box at the end is | | | | guidance. "How can anyone grow up in your |
| included. Notification of publication would be | | | | society and not believe you are a victim? |
| appreciated. | | | | Everyone has had many experiences in childhood |
| Title: Welcoming our Wounded Selves | | | | of feeling victimized. The beliefs regarding being a |
| Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | | | | victim are in the very young child within. Until the |
| E-mail: Copyright: © 2003 by Margaret Paul | | | | beliefs within this wounded inner child are healed, |
| Web Address: | | | | you are being governed by them, even though |
| Word Count: 526 | | | | you may not be aware of it. No one wants to |
| Category: Emotional Healing | | | | feel like victim, so all the protections are to have |
| WELCOMING OUR WOUNDED SELVES | | | | control over not feeling like a victim. All the anger, |
| By Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | | | | blame, withdrawal, denial, defensiveness, |
| "I just want to get rid of the part of me that | | | | resistance, caretaking and so on are to have |
| gets angry so easily." | | | | control over not being controlled. All the addictions |
| "I hate the part of me that thinks about food all | | | | are to not feel the feelings of helplessness and |
| the time." | | | | aloneness that come from feeling like a victim. |
| "I just want to kill the part of me that is so | | | | Embrace the part of you that believes you are a |
| needy." | | | | victim and you will find yourself able to embrace |
| For the last 35 years I have been counseling | | | | all the feelings and behavior that come from the |
| individuals, couples, families and business partners | | | | belief that you are a victim. Who do you know |
| and have authored eight published books. In the | | | | who never thinks that their feelings or behavior is |
| course of my work, I often hear the people I | | | | not caused by someone else, or by events, or by |
| counsel wanting to get rid of their wounded | | | | God? Who do you know who takes full |
| aspects. This would be like attempting to kill off a | | | | responsibility for all their feelings and behavior, |
| child who is having problems. This would, of | | | | especially in their relationships?" |
| course, cause the child many more problems. | | | | I had to admit I didn't know anyone like that. I |
| Instead, we need to learn to welcome, embrace, | | | | had never met an enlightened being. |
| love and explore with the many wounded parts | | | | Since then, I have delighted in embracing my |
| of ourselves. These parts exist due to the false | | | | victim and all the feelings that come from this |
| beliefs that we have from our childhood | | | | false belief. My own progress has greatly |
| experiences. These parts heal with love and truth, | | | | excelerated as a result of this awareness. |
| not with being disowned. | | | | Next time you feel anxious, angry, guilty, shamed, |
| One day, when I was walking and talking with my | | | | critical, resistant, needy, depressed, hurt - try |
| inner guidance, I asked about my own wounded, | | | | opening your arms and welcoming this wounded |
| disowned aspects. "There is really only one | | | | child. Explore the beliefs behind these feelings and |
| disowned aspect that all the other aspects come | | | | you might discover your victim. Then welcome |
| from. This aspect is the victim. The victim is like | | | | that part with great love and compassion. |
| the mothership from which all the other wounded | | | | |