| One of the first articles we published in 2005 | | | | possibly be giving trouble. "Oh we never have any |
| commenced the story of a little Gallic number and | | | | problems with this model" or "You have been |
| the horrors of being on the receiving end of a | | | | spectacularly unfortunate with this Car" and so |
| Monday Morning car, or perhaps it was a Friday | | | | on...As anyone will tell you, the fact (disputable!) |
| afternoon example and Les Français were | | | | that no one else is having problems with a |
| about to demonstrate their Rugby prowess by | | | | particular car or that you have been unlucky, |
| annihilating their favourite enemy thereby | | | | doesn't do anything at all to ease your own |
| emptying the Factory in record time. | | | | particular pain. In fact I think it makes things |
| Either way it didn't make much difference | | | | worse if anything! |
| because in all the years of Automotive History | | | | What was sadly lacking but all too common was |
| there has never been such a car! However if | | | | the need to appreciate that when things go |
| anyone after reading this current chapter can | | | | wrong... Hell... they gotta get fixed and Pronto AND |
| beat the list of faults and eclipse the | | | | with a smile AND some suitable apologies. Then |
| dissatisfaction rating, we will be glad to hear from | | | | and maybe only then a Customer might be saved |
| them. We might even publish it on our Garage | | | | for another day. But what the heck we don't |
| Horror Stories Archive on the Web Site! You are | | | | need to bother with customers OR their |
| going to have to come up with something the | | | | problems... we've got a never ending queue of |
| equal of Frankenstein meets Alien or you are | | | | victims waiting to part with their cash for the |
| simply not at the races! Actually we never got to | | | | latest model that's been well advertised on T.V. so |
| the races because with just 70 miles on the clock | | | | why worry? |
| on day two the car went into self destruct mode | | | | I think this must be the derivation of the |
| and refused to take us any further! | | | | commonly used phrase now "No Worries" Picture |
| Sadly, the Main Dealer who supplied this poorly | | | | the Car salesman viewing the queue of |
| constructed example of Automotive construction | | | | Customers waiting at the door come opening |
| at its worst, had not been attending the Classes | | | | time...all he has to do is chant the personal mantra |
| for Irate Customer Retrieval which are run | | | | quietly to himself "No Worries" and all will be well . |
| regularly throughout the Autumn and Winter | | | | Did you ever hear of a Car Salesman being |
| months when Car sales are a little slow and well, | | | | lynched? |
| the Certificate of Attendance looks good on a | | | | The gruesome details would make a grown man |
| C.V. ! We are talking here about the little list of | | | | weep...I should know I was there! Do you want |
| accomplishments that accompany Job applications | | | | the shortened version or the Directors Cut? The |
| and Career advancement not the enigmatic and | | | | fully unexpurgated version will be available shortly |
| thoroughly charming Car of the same name by a | | | | on the web site but it is being digitally enhanced |
| certain French Car maker! Perhaps if we had | | | | as we speak... so here are just a few titbits to |
| purchased a little C.V. (although few examples | | | | keep you amused: |
| existed at that time) we wouldn't be writing this | | | | Week One ... All Electrics Down ...No Can fix! |
| current chapter of the saga! | | | | Temporary replacement for booked holiday! |
| Still Life is full of Surprises and even fuller when it | | | | Month One... Front Shock Absorber ceases to |
| comes to parting with hard earned cash for those | | | | Absorb! Head Mechanic says there is no problem. |
| money eating, brain numbing, heartbreaking bits of | | | | Delighted when after insistence by customer that |
| Technology with the four little black bits that go | | | | car be looked at there is a problem after all! |
| round and round. (Phrase courtesy of Gary | | | | Customers don't know squat about Cars! That's |
| Anderson who for those of you not familiar with | | | | what you think! |
| Motor Sport is a Formula One Designer and now | | | | Month Six... Steering Rack decides not to Steer |
| fascinating Commentator) | | | | any more! Why should the Shocks have all the |
| Classes in dealing with all kinds of upset Car | | | | fun? Obviously didn't like the way I took our local |
| customers should be mandatory for all Car Sales | | | | corner every day on two wheels! No Part |
| Personnel and should be paid for by the | | | | available in Ireland ...so Coffee and Croissants for |
| Manufacturers. After all, without the Car | | | | four days while car waits patiently on the rack! |
| Salesman, the Manufacturers would have a helluva | | | | It's a bit like the Spanish inquisition only French! |
| lot of inventory to shift and since they created | | | | Driving skills becoming atrophied through lack of |
| the problems in the first place it seems only fair | | | | use! |
| that they should solve them don't you think? | | | | Month Eight...Accelerator Cable decides all this |
| After the first few return visits to the said | | | | speed is just too much for comfort and ...just like |
| Dealership as parts imploded, shut down or just | | | | that ...Snaps. Bank Holiday weekend ends in |
| plain fell off, it was obvious that an early warning | | | | confrontation with Lady Friend and a Taxi home |
| alarm system had been hurriedly cobbled together | | | | and complete misery. |
| to announce our proximity! When someone did | | | | I think that's enough to be getting on with don't |
| have the unfortunate experience of facing us | | | | you?...keep your ear to the ground for further |
| head on, there were the usual expressions of | | | | instalments! |
| incredulity and amazement that such a car could | | | | |